Survivor Speaker
Carla Fitten
“No One Can Stop Your Destiny, Not Even You!”
Between the ages of four or five years old, I remember my father coming home drunk, barely standing up. There were 9 children and when we heard the keys fumbling in the door we knew it was time to run; we headed to the third floor and hide in the back of the large closet so we would not see or hear the abuse.
I came out of hiding to pull her from my father’s brutal grip and beatings. When I arrived on the “crime scene” I would jump on his back, grab his neck, shirt, or whatever I could get a hold of and my father would say to me; “if you want me to stop”; I’ll stop; and I won’t do it again”; then he would let her go, hug me to make sure I was ok (exactly!); how did my mother feel? Yet it happened every weekend and I rescued her every weekend. He would securely protect me from himself every weekend and made the same promise every time.
At six years old my older teenage cousin trapped me in the bathroom and exposed himself. I experienced abandonment when my father was killed in a robbery on Christmas day; I was 8 years old. We moved and more sexual abuse started with two other relatives and my mother no longer wanted me around; by the age of eleven she beat me with a large piece of wood. My paternal grandmother came to my rescue and my mother told her to “get out and take me with her.” We moved out shortly after that.
When I became old enough to see the cycle of abuse; I vowed to never allow anyone to abuse me again. But we found each other in high school and the cycle continued until I was twenty-three years old. The only difference is that he was not a relative; there was no one there to rescue me. I was abused in every way, I was isolated, a prisoner in my own home; literally. I was a single parent though he slept there and I was the financial provider.
Though the product of an alcoholic, I never really drank, though from a dysfunctional home, I’m not dysfunctional. I am not what I grew up in. Because I am Saved, I am a lover of JESUS CHRIST, I have been married for 35 years to Minister William Fitten; awesome man of GOD, I have four wonderful, talented adult children and eight gifted grandchildren. I am a woman of worth, I am an Evangelist, I am a preacher of the gospel, I am living a joyously, fulfilled life, I am beautiful, educated, motivated, and a published author. My books are; “P. I. E. (Poetry In Emotion)”, “Awaken My Intimacy”, and “Ol’la Day Sharp”.
I am the Founder of W.H.I.S.P.E.R.S. Woman To Woman; a women support group, I am a facilitator, a leader, a teacher, a lay counselor and I will be all that GOD has called me to be. I will be an author of many more writings, I will be married until death do us part, I will continue to be a helper to many, I will be one who will leave a positive mark in the earth, I will be spoken of well and I will be who GOD says I’ll be and I will leave an awesome legacy!
Remember this if nothing else: No one can stop your destiny; not even you.